Sunday, June 5, 2011

anung drama yan?

Alas dos y medya na..gising pa rin ako, technically kaggicing ko lang
Nanuod ng pelikula, at nainlove na naman dahil s akwento
Ganun naman ako lage, I am always affected sa mga napapanuod at nakikita ko
Di ako deep inside, paimbabaw lang ako lage
Tapos after nun ilang oras lang wala na..balik na nman ako sa pagiging emo ko..
Well they say being emo is just an excuse for boys to cry, un nga di rin ako maiyak eh,
gusto kong maramdaman umiyak ng sobra, maihi sa takot, gumulong sa kakatawa pero lahat yun
di ko magawa…maybe I am phlegmatic, wew nosebleed anu yun? Di ko alam…
ahm , anu na naman bang kabaliwan ang mga pinagsasabi ko dito, wala lang siguro  epekto lng ng kape na may gatas ng “ALASKA” para sa growth gap years at sa init ng panahon…
ung nga yun siguro…
napaisip ako..hanggang ditto na lang ba ako talaga…
bakit hanggang nagyon, napapaisip pa rin ako..
did I establish anything at all…parang wala pa rin, ou napag-aral ko kapatid ko, na after ng lahat ay makakabuntis lang pala…well wala naman sa akin yun eh…I definitely know na kaya niya suportahan magiging pamilya nya..as a matter of fact, I envy my brother kasi he was able to stand on his own..ako sa edad kong to..I am still a goddamn nonsense person,yeah that’s how I literally feel…
I always think that I am a failure in everything…
Dahil ba sa lahat ng bagay minamadali ko
Gusto ko lahat, will go perfectly fit to how I wanted it to be, which apparently is not working…
I always wanted to do things my way..and not any others way…
Dahil I wanted to probe something or I just can’t accept that my idea is not working at all, and I have no other option at all but to resort on them..Or much better to say that I am DUWAG…
Gusto ko lage nasa safe side, I am afraid to cross the border…
Yeah..hate to admit that but it is true…
I am afraid to live life…
I am afraid to love because I don’t wana be hurt…giving out reason that it is not my priority at all, but I know deep inside that it’s not that…
I am afraid to go things beyond my limits..that when I tried to take the step into it..i might fail and loss it all…
Yeah..the hell you care right…
Probably or no most definitely this is another case of EXTREME SELF PITYNESS,
But I beg to disagree rather should I say this is blatantly REALIZING TRUTH…
And so, I know you will rebut, what’s with the fucking realization?
Should we gain anything from it at all…?(wow bakit kjaya sa writing ang galling kong mag-english pag talking na wala na..kapos kapos na tayu).
Little by little..as this is being my favorite line…baby steps muna…then eventually I will run and strike the hell out of it..and I of course I should plan things with having in my mind the passion to realize it and have it done, maybe in a certain period of time, but most of the time, what we plan will not happen the way we want it to happen now..but in the near future…clear my mind and face life with love and faith.

P.S.

When you promise something to yourself make sure that you gonna follow it, discipline is the most important values that we should learn if we want everything to follow….